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how to write well! (sarcasm, mocking gender ideology) 

how to write well!

- cut off all unnecessary words
- use fewer words
- fewer
- grunt

- don't use adverbs and adjectives, these are effeminate. use exclusively that manliest hairy bear of word classes: the nouns. er I mean, be men! noun! stoic! strength!
- don't use Latinate nouns, those are pompous foreign sissies.
- basically be a Nazi for words

- don't split infinitives. do you know who never splits infinitives? Latin. splitting infinitives is for uneducated English peasants. who do you want to be, poor people or glorious civilisation men conquerors?
- don't dangle adverbs. because I told you to. this is a very reasonable rule that makes a lot of sense.
- you have to know the rules before you break them.
- why? cos the authorities told you to

- also you can't really break them at all except every 4 years very dramatically like in the last line of a poem or s/t

- yes everybody breaks these arbitrary rules all the time including the most conservative and traditional writers of all time, but if you pretend you follow the rules you get to mock people when they don't, it's called being a writer

- shorten your sentences. shorten. omit. ssshhh
- kill your darlings. if there's a piece of writing you're really proud of and makes you feel good, delete it. delete. it. only keep sentences you have no emotional connection to, this is called editing. are you going to what, __let__ your darlings live? are you gay or something???
- write only things you hate as little as possible, that's called "literature".
- basically all good writing is Ernest Hemingway.
- "hi I'm a corpus linguist and I ran some statistics and Ernest Hemingway actually has above-average ratios of adjectives and long sentences" shut up nerd
- look just do everything Strunk & White ordered, they're the authorities
- "hi I'm a corpus linguist and I ran some statistics and Strunk & White's 'The Elements of Style' itself has above-average ratios of adjectives and long sentences" do what S&W **said**, not what they did

how to write well! (sarcasm, mocking gender ideology) 

@elilla

I never want to hear the phrase "You have to learn the rules to break them" in my lifetime again. I hate it so much lol

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