re: dating, co-living, breakup, prefiguration, gayness
I don't know how to solve the conflict issue (or the architecture issue, or the landlords issue, or the "if a teen girl runs from her abusive family and we give her a friendly place to crash, I'll be accused of kidnapping and transing her" issue. or, you know, the "world is literally burning" issue). it seems to me that under capitalism there is just too much friction in moving. ideally you would want it to be easy, fluid, convenient to move together, and easy to unmove together. it is particularly hard in Germany, but it's hard in all capitalist societies. the only way I can see out of that is a much deeper prefiguration of property abolition, of ownership under usufruct. whole libraries of stuff that are never yours, always the community's, but you can otherwise hold onto as much as you want (para todos todo, para nosotros nada. will get that tattoo yet.) clothes, why not? computer monitors, why not? heavy stuff stay in the house, whatever house you move into is already fully furnished. we all own nothing, we all own everything, we consume less and take care of things more. we take care of one another. most people are not attracted to ideas like this, though.
anyway easy to dream but irl here am I in my big apartment, alone with my headache, owning as sole proprietess all this cruft I couldn't care less about, the one girlfriend who wanted to move in with me, gone. the one girl I ever been with who was not just tolerant, but downright enthusiastic, about having a house with me with doors wide open, dates and friends coming in and out all the time. all the things that normally people tell me "I understand your enthusiasm but that's not for me."
still. perhaps I'm looking at this whole thing wrong. I'm too lesbian, I want all the U-haul trucks parking here on second date. people have stuff to deal with, have their own life plans to work on. but I spent the last weekend with 2 people I love doing perverted gay stuff like cuddling all night, or walking in the part to see the litle duckieses babbyes. I had my darling catgirl around for a couple days, possum enby is coming tomorrow, then I get the sweetest demiboy you can imagine for a whooping 6 days, then the snep sweetheart for, what, 9 in a row?? and she'll bring a new girl along, too. it's easy to get used to it, but wow, what even is this life. it's easy to forget how magical. sometimes I think of getting back into couchsurfing, then I realise I don't need to.
and the stays overlap a bit, which means they'll get to know one another. which means my apartment is one step closer to public space.
perhaps this is the prefiguration I can handle for now. if I get any of those jobs I can afford even this big apartment alone. probably. and then I make it more and more guest-friendly, and I just invite people to use it for stays of a length comfortable for them, as many people as I can find.
if vaccination does calm down this one crisis at least, I bet there will be a good number of friends wanting to travel to Germany and in need of a safe house to stay.
"Nosotros nacimos de la noche. En ella vivimos. Moriremos en ella. Pero la luz será mañana para los más, para todos aquellos que hoy lloran la noche, para quienes se niega el día, para quienes es regalo la muerte, para quienes está prohibida la vida. Para todos la luz. Para todos todo.""
Elilla’s personal server.