re: polyamory, jealousy
Another common feeling behind jealousy is that of unfairness: how come you’re dining out with them but we haven’t dined out in months? Now this is a bit of a trap – every relationship has different levels of commitment, different material conditions etc., and you can’t approach it like a checklist, I did activity Y with B so now I have to do Y with C and D and F. If C is demanding a checklist approach, there’s a conversation to be had about that. _Why_ is it that C feels like they need all the same things?
Often the feeling of unfairness has some root that you can address. Maybe they’re jealous of your NRE because they miss going on dates, or being courted. Maybe they’re jealous of you living with them because they don’t like sleeping alone and wish they had somebody to hug too. The jealousy might have been triggered by A doing something with B, but it’s pointing to a lack internal to A+C; you can’t magically argue away the jealousy, and you can’t duplicate the same exact relationship with everyone, but you can listen to and address the lack.
Elilla’s personal server.